‘The world has entered the church; the church is in the world.’ Left to me that should be my father’s official best saying not with the many times I have heard him say that to me. But any day, any time he would go with his signature, godliness with contentment is great gain. He said his father would always say that to him, and since he is fond of saying my first sentence to me, I guess it should be my official best saying. I can’t forget the first time he said it to me. I had just finished my pre-degree program to enter the university and the school already resumed for the new session. I was now a fresher finally and as I prepared to travel to school, I went to the saloon to braid my hair with wool attachment.
That day was a drama to behold. When I got to the house, I went straight to my mirror judging myself before anyone would. It is not like it’s my first time, all through my pre-degree days I was on braids but this is the first time my parents will be seeing me on braids. My mother had entered the room to see me in front of the mirror.
“What is this Danielle?” I don’t answer and the next is history. She continues talking and I let her talk. Works well with African women. Let them have their spot when the nagging begins. God help you if you try to explain or worst still justify yourself at that point; then brother or sister you are done for.
One down, I waited patiently for the next challenge, my father. Immediately he saw me, that first reaction was terrific.
“Go and loose that hair as I am looking at you. So that is what you do at school, next you will come home with nails like that of an eagle, paint your nails, mouth and nose. No child of mine would be a reproach to me when I am alive. You can do that when you marry or do not live with me anymore. Under my roof, my rule.” At this point he calls my mother, “Timilehin’s mother don’t you see the world has entered the church; the church is in the world.
Nobody need to tell me to keep my braids to school and my natural hair for home during vacation. However, during my industrial training at 400 levels, the chameleon lifestyle had to stop. I was accepted to intern at the International Airport, Ikeja and come to think of it, the customer service department. Something had to give. Knowing the scores at home, I sat mother down and explained my dilemma.
“Timilehin’s mother, I cannot but use attachment. I can’t go to the airport looking morose. I am working at the at the terminal mother, this is the International Airport we are talking about, white people come and go, and you know how my hair is when I plait them natural. I cannot tie scarf to work ooh.”
I let her talk, don’t bother yourself with what she said, you already know it. Hmm hmmm, the long talk about the way the godly woman should adorn herself. Once, she even pulled the stunt that all synthetic hair was from the water goddess. All well and good, African mothers are everly correct. So I let her do her thing. The important thing is I make sure she’s got my back when father starts his tantrums.
Sometimes I feel bad for him though. You know when the leader’s children are the bone of contention, it silence their vibrant message. So father had told his children at the children’s department that attachment is a sin; when you are born again, you stop using earrings and do not wear slack as a female. So this curious little girl in my church had seen me with attachment and decided to voice her confusion to her friend as I pass by them.
“Aunty is using attachment but Pastor Dada said it is a sin.” That moment it was like I was walking on two left legs, I was that embarrassed.
Which brings me to the reason why I did not bother joining the workforce, I remember before coming to the university, a prophesy had come to me that if I served God in school, I would have a first class result; figures that is why I am always churning out a four point zero something result no matter how hard I try at exams. So why would I want to join something I knew deep down I do not see myself accepting. As they say when in Rome, do like the Romans. The workers do not perm nor braid their hair, I like to perm and braid. Simple logic, don’t join them.
I know some might want to say I am vain and do not have salvation, but when you come to think about the many little girls in the church today who will say to your face, “they said this is a sin but she is doing it.” And that is after you finally accept your inner inclination to disapprove everything they believe and you do not. But by then, you are tagged the apostate because you have as they call it, disbelieve what you once believed which you did not believe per say. There are many in the campus church today that are vibrant and doing as they do in Rome and after graduation are worse than an infidel. I do not want to be that person but let me tell you the story of that person.
©Tiana
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